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Never Saw it Coming

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WHAM! The blue raquetball slammed into my eye socket! I fell to the ground, holding my throbbing face. I never saw the ball coming.

My dad rushed over to see if I was hurt. "My eye!" I screamed, as I felt to see if my eye was still in my head. Luckily, it was still there, and the pain and shock was going away, slowly.

As I stood up, I realized everything was blurry. "Oh no!" I thought, "I've gone blind!" Then I realized the raquetball had not only smashed into my eye, it also destroyed my glasses. I had forgotten that I had been wearing my glasses instead of my raquetball safety glasses. My glasses were in two pieces on the court.

Later, my dad and I laughed about the hit to my face. I told him, "it will be a long time before I ever look back in a raquetball court."

Little did he know I would have my revenge on him a few years later.

(I like how this story starts. It really grabs the reader with the first word, WHAM! I think if I took more time I could add more details about after the ball hit me, but all in all it's a good quick personal narrative, and it even has a cliff-hanger ending.)

Sunnie Dog
Mr. Stephens' Writing Journal
Fourth Grade

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